Step Back

Sometimes we want to be so close, so in on the action, that we can miss the big picture. Sometimes, just sometimes, when we take a second to step back…we get to see the whole scene. I like when I remember to step back. I catch moments like this. And I like this moment.

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Bucks County Wedding Photographer

Looking for a Wedding Photographer?  That’s cool. Cause I’m looking for amazing Couples to share their big day with me!

Hop over to my Wedding Gallery to catch a peek into my style and perspective!

Email me if you want to sit down and chat about Yours Truly catching your special moments on camera!

salvatori.photography@gmail.com

http://salvatoriphotography.zenfolio.com/weddings

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Wake Up Call

Don’t ask how, but somehow, this blog has recently turned more into ‘Stacy sharing her deepest darkest struggles’ and less photography. I think the two are connected. So I won’t fret yet. I promise to post pictures, hope that helps.:)

But here’s where I’m at.

I’m 35. I have a God-send of a Husband, and 3 wonderful Kiddos.  I have struggles, fairly common ones, I’m sure. Nothing that’s gonna ever shock you.  I’m not much more than an average house-wife-mom. Most days I’m pretty OK with that. Somedays I’m too OK with it. I forget how lucky I actually am. Yes. It is the hardest job in the world to be a Stay-at-home-work-part-time Mom. But most days I coast. I cruise through. Never making too much of a ripple. I spend way too much time on social media. I’m a subpar cook. I hate doing dishes. And cleaning house? Don’t even get me started. I’m not too stressed about changing the world. Most days I’m just happy to make it through with myself and all 3 kids alive and fed. At 8:00 PM it’s bedtime. And I take bedtime seriously. Momma don’t mess. I’m usually exhausted from not doing all that house work and cooking. I’ve had to tolerate a crazy schedule. Poopy diapers. Spilt milk. Fits of tears. Being ignored. Disobedience. Being ignored again. Yelling at my Kids to put their junk away for the 10,000,000th time. I mean. It’s a miracle I’m alive. And when it’s bedtime, it’s ME TIME. I need to catch my breathe. Put my feet up. Ignore some dirty dishes and watch some quality TV.

And then it hits me.

The days are long. But the years are short.

I’m going to wake up in the blink of an eye and have teenagers living under my roof. Teenagers who aren’t going to talk to me about a blessed thing if I continue on this trajectory. I’m not pointing fingers at you or anyone else. I’m pointing them right at ME. I’m staring in the mirror my Friend. Why have I allowed my life to become social media and nagging sessions? When is the last time I sat down (with my phone in another room) and stared any of my Kids right in the eyes and  had a real life conversation? Not a 2 minute one…but a 10 minute one…maybe even 20. If I don’t care to listen now, they’re not going to care to talk later. Wake up Stacy. Wake up. These are your Children…not a to-do list.

I just read this article that a Friend posted on Facebook…yes, I know,  irony at it’s finest. I literally started crying. Not that that should shock you. But these weren’t sappy tears. They were burning tears. Painful ones. The ones that smack of conviction. I’m a good Mom. I love my kids. Deeply. Whole-heartedly. But a lot of days I love me more. Yep. There. I said it. I so often choose me over them. It plays itself out in too many ways to recount. I know I’m never going to be perfect at this Mommy-wife thing. I know that I will have to work on it and fix it for years to come. I know I’ll screw up. But something’s gotta give. And I’m pretty sure it’s me…

What if we talk instead of text?

What if I put my phone in a drawer from 4-8 PM?

What if I limit social media to once a day? (Gasp! How will she ever survive this?)

What if I stare my kids in the face?

What if I hold them for those 5 extra minutes at bedtime? I know. Crazy talk. I might miss the 1st 10 minutes of The Good Wife. Unspeakable.

This might not be where you’re at. In fact you may not even understand these rantings. Perhaps you’ve got the Mom thing down pat. To that I say. More power to you and keep on keeping’ on! I admire you. I truly do.

But for this selfish soul…it’s a smack in the face. A wake up call. I can’t get these hours back. I’ll never look back and regret not being on Instagram more, but I will regret not being present with my Kids. Cause remember…

The days are long. But the years are short.

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Mommy Reality

Ever see “Date Night” with Tina Fey and Steve Carell? Well, there’s this part in the movie where she’s finally being honest and she talks about how sometimes she just wants to run away to a hotel room and sit alone all day in silence. With nothing but her and the sound of the air conditioner humming. Tonight that might be me…

Parenting is not for the faint of heart. Period.  Sometimes my role as ‘Mommy’ fills me up. It’s my joy. My deepest longing. And if we’re being honest…on other days it sucks me dry. Dry as a desert. I go from ‘baking homemade zucchini bread’ Mom to ‘don’t make eye contact’ Mom.  It’s human. To have on days and off days. It’s human to love deeply. And it’s also human to get super annoyed when your beautiful Child has called your name no less than 1,000 times in the last 3 minutes.

Why am I telling you this? Not a clue. Maybe on the off chance that you might have ever felt this way. Maybe once you’ve wanted to hop in your car and drive cross country just to sit in silence for a few hours.  These precious faces are mine to love and cherish. A job I try most days to hold dear. An honest to goodness privilege. But sometimes, just sometimes, I want to be reminded that my identity isn’t just wrapped up in Mommyhood..I’m so many other things too. I’m a Wife. Daughter. Sister. Friend. Photographer. And sometimes I’m just me. Just Stacy. With whatever complexities and twitches I might have. I’m flawed. Selfish. Slightly crazy.  I’m also the most loyal Friend you could ever have. I value deep, meaningful, connected relationships. I love sunshine. A huge glass of ice cold tea. I love swimming. Biking. I love going to movies. White cake with white icing. I love horseback riding. Dogs. Hoodies. Flip flops. Walking barefoot on green grass. Palm trees.

Yes. I am Mommy. But occasionally it’s nice to remember I’m so much more too….

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Pay it Forward

This is a hard post to write. And it might get wordy. But it will be real.

I lead a charmed life. I’m blessed beyond my own understanding sometimes. As far as the things in life that a person might ever ‘need’, I have those and more. We all want things we can’t have. Some of us more than others. And sometimes it can hit you at different stages. Seasons pass where things seem flawless…they float along and you’re on top of the world. Other seasons, it’s hard. You want something different. You want what you can’t have. You want. Want. Want. It’s a dangerous black hole. And in my 35 years there have been many times where I’ve given into my desire for more. And there have been times when I have smacked the ‘want’ aside, pulled myself up by my boot straps and realized I have all I need and more. So deal. Sadly, in my own selfishness I’ve often gone with the former rather than the later. But I’m learning. I’m learning to find happiness in what some might call the ‘mundane’ or the daily drone of life. It’s in the those little moments that some of the greatest joys pop up and cause your heart to burst with love and fullness. And to think, I almost missed it…wanting something more, something different. Luckily I’m blessed to have this incredible Husband who works hard to help me see the happy in the everyday. And who can make fun out of a box of sticks. Seriously. He can bring our whole family to full laughter effortlessly.

OK. OK. Why am I getting all deep and pensive when it’s a Friday, and the last day of school no less? Come on Stacy, lighten up!:)Well. Cause here’s the other crazy thing. I also have these crazy people I walk through life with. They’re flawed people. Some are borderline nuts in fact. But I love them. Like crazy love them. They all have different strengths and different weaknesses. Sometimes they annoy me. And other times I feel like I can’t breathe until I have a good solid ‘sit down stare at your face and tell me everything about your life’ session. I grew up going to Boarding School. Friends became Family. Period. I’ve kind of kept that with me. My Friends. My close Friends are like Family. I love my Family, but sadly they all live far far away. Ohio. Indiana. California. North Carolina. Georgia. Maryland. Kentucky. Alabama. Congo. It’s hard. I wish it was not that way. So my Friends have helped easy that pain….they’ve stepped up. To be Family for us. We also have Friends that live far away that we love deeply too. Ones we know we’ll grow old and gray with. You know, the ones you might not see or talk to for months…sometimes years, but they still get you. You pick up, right where you left off.

So. In summary. My life is fun. It’s crazy. It’s full of crazy fun people. Sometimes I want things I can’t have.

What in the world does this have to do with photography Stacy?

Well. In the last month Family and Friends have blessed me and my Family in unspeakable ways. Yep. That’s pretty much the only way to say it. I’ve cried ugly ugly tears. Like the kind that flow when someone does something so immeasurable kind, generous, and loving for you that you can’t see straight. You’r left speechless. Overflowing with gratefulness. Feeling like you just got blessed, once again, beyond your deserving.  And the catch is you can never repay them. You can’t say ‘Thank  You” enough. You can’t express what your heart feels. You just know, that in that moment your ‘cup overfloweth’.  So as a way to thank those who have blessed me, I want to bless others. It’s true. When you’re loved you want to love back. This post is to announce that I’m going to give everyone who reads this a free pooooony!!!!!!! Hahaha! Well, I’m fresh out of ponies, but I have a camera. So I thought, what if I gave away 2 Free Photos Sessions for no reason at all. Just to bless someone who needs to be blessed!

I’m gonna pay it forward.

All you have to do is one simple thing. Well, two things.

First, leave a comment on this blog post or my Facebook page, telling me how a session would bless you!

Second, pay it forward. Go do something small for someone else.

Stacy

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